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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Oh Gwynnie...Forget You Too!

Being president & CEO of the "I love to hate Gwyneth Paltrow" fan club is becoming a full time job these days. First there was Country Strong, where Gwynnie honkey-tonk twanged it out so egregiously she made Tim McGraw look positively Euro in comparison. 

And of course every week Mrs. Chris Martin does her little favor for the unwashed masses (which consist of everyone in the world except for her and Stella McCartney and, depending upon the week, Madonna). The moment Goop lands in my inbox, I already feel the saintly presence of Gwyneth helping me to "nourish the inner aspect." Sometimes I worry about poor Gwyneth, what with all the rehearsals, wardrobe fittings, school runs, and meal cooking she has to fit into her average day in London. But phew- when I learn that her organic vegan fishmonger delivers when she's in a pinch, I know she's going to pull through! (*Note- I'm not just being mean- all of this has actually been in Goop).


Most recently, there was her performance with Cee Lo Green at the Grammys on Sunday night, in which she butchered one of my favorite songs of 2010 with her wooden dance moves and karaoke voice. She sort of reminded me of those girls at sorority formals who jump on stage and comandeer the microphone from the band. I could have done with a lot more muppets, and a lot less Gwyneth. That little Muppet dog by the piano could really bust a move!



Next up, Gwyneth's cookbook...which, who am I kidding, I'm totally going to read...

14 comments:

SisterBatik said...

Hi

Loving your blog! Also following MoSMarketplace too now!

http://sisterbatik.blogspot.com/

bluehydrangea said...

I couldn't even listen to the song I was so nervous she was going to fall in those crazy shoes.

Carollynn @ designGumbo said...

Thank you for being president of the club... I can sit back and just be VP, who we all know really does nothing. I try not to be a celeb hater, cos I'm never going to live in that world, so I'm usually live and let live. But lately, I've just become a bit over this particular celeb.

LiveLikeYou said...

ahahah funny. I must admit I was cringing for her at the Grammy's. She does seem to be a nice person and mean well. But her GOOP advice is unfortunately so far fetched from the daily reality of most people.

Aubrey {All Things Bright and Beautiful} said...

That is the funniest thing I have ever read on this blog!!! (c: She seriously is super annoying in her "I'm so much smarter/better than everyone else" demenor. I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one that thinks her venture into music is just plain obnoxious...Lovin' it! Then I have somebody to bash on...

Karla said...

I loved this post so much. I couldn't have put it better myself. Keep up the fabulous work as VP!

suburban prep said...

I am not a Gwyneth Fan by any means. Glad to know I am not the only one. She seems to be everywhere too.

ACCampbell said...

Great Blog, and it is yours to write, but the post on Gwyneth Paltrow seemed rather harsh. MOS usually has a southern gentility sense to it, not so this morning.

Alena said...

Haha. You're hilarious. I haven't had the pleasure of watching her Grammy performance yet, but now I can't wait :)

Anonymous said...

Ouch. While I don't have strong feelings about Gwyneth, I agree she sometimes has an air of superiority about her. That being said, this seems pretty harsh. Not your usual MoS post - I'm a little disappointed.

Baylor Love said...

OH I AM DYING!! Hysterical, I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one out here who feels this way. You are too stinkin funny!

Anonymous said...

LOL

Evie said...

oh gosh, gwyneth's dance moves...horrifying!

Nicole said...

Oh, this is so on point! As a Southern girl myself, I think we do generally try to show some restraint, but something about Gwynnie's pretension brings out the snarkiness in us all....

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